Manic Monday: Bad Drivers

In the continuing struggle to talk about the things that drive us (mainly me) insane, Manic Monday again brings you something to make you say, “dang that gets on my nerves also!” If you are over the age of 16 and have a driver’s license then you have experienced the phenomena of this latest pet peeve: bad drivers.

People with ‘bad driving etiquette’ is one of societies biggest pet peeves (especially mine). Growing up in a small town in the South and then moving to the ‘big city’ for college, I had already had my fill of getting in traffic jams behind tractors and slow moving farm vehicles. As I grew up and traveled throughout the US, I have experienced even more frustration and found that some people lose their minds when they get behind the wheel. So I thought that on this edition of Manic Monday, I would give you a list of THE MOST ANNOYING THINGS THAT BAD DRIVERS DO!!!!

1. People who pull out in front of you when there are no cars behind you. Most of them make a right turn as soon as they pull out, causing you to come to an all but complete stop.
2. Oh speaking of pulling out in front of you. Imagine this: you’re driving down an interstate and you see a sign that says, “Lane closed ahead, merge.” What do you do? You go ahead and merge. Well you merge if you’re not a BUTTHOLE! Sorry. I’m trying to remain a Christian. Well this idiotic butthole speeds up past a couple of cars, to ‘sneak in’ ahead of everyone. If you do this….STOP!
3. Oh. More about bad drivers on busy roads/interstates/highways. Hey you! Yeah you, constant lane changer in heavy traffic guy. He (or she) is constantly moving from lane to lane only to see it go nowhere or to only be 3 car lengths ahead. This usually happens during very congested roads or traffic jams. You are a dangerous nuisance behind the wheel and I dislike you immensely when you drive.
4. Oh I have another one for busy highway/interstate driving. The ‘speed-up/slow-down’ driver. He’s the one who blasts past you while you’re cruising in the right hand lane (like you should when you’re driving the speed limit) and then gets in front of the car in front of you. Then….he slows down. He slows down slower than what you were traveling when he flew past you. Then you are forced to try to pass him but get passed by 200 cars in the right hand lane. When you get past him, about two minutes go by and he flies by you again, only the repeat the cycle over and over again.
5. There is this lever behind your steering wheel which helps you indicate to the drivers around you the direction in which you are turning. WELL I really wish that people would remember to use them. They are very useful.
6. Tailgaters. GRRRRRR. You know the one that rides your bumper for so long, that you finally decide to pull over to the side of the road just so you won’t get rear ended in case you have to make a sudden stop.
7. The grandma. I hold no ill will towards grandmothers but there comes a time (even if you’re 24) that you need to relinquish your driver’s license and get a bus pass….or call a taxi….or walk…..or move far far far away from me. The grandma doesn’t have to be a grandmother. The grandma can be a 42 year old man who drives his pickup truck at 35 mph down a rural road. A grandma can also be the old couple that just left church and they decide to ‘go to town’ and get an ice cream….they start reminiscing and start turkey necking as they look around at their surroundings going 25 mph in town. A grandma could also be my dad, who drives 45 mph EVERYWHERE because he says ‘what do I have to be in a hurry for…if I gotta be somewhere far away, I just leave earlier’. And that is why I don’t ride with my dad anymore.
8. The missed highway exit guy because his wife was fussing at him about not knowing where to go. Okay. So…I have to admit that I’m bad about heading merging into the appropriate lane 2 minutes before I’m supposed to turn (my wife hates that I do this) but I’m referring to the guy that is almost missing his off ramp, so he cuts sharply across two lanes of busy highway traffic to get onto the 15 mph curved offramp almost flipping his Toyota Sequoia full size SUV.
9. Oh….speaking of black Toyota Sequoia full size SUVs. Here’s to you middle aged male driver of the black Toyota Sequoia who not only backed out of his parking place at the local BBQ joint without looking but upon almost running into me continued backing up as if it was my fault that I was breathing his air.
10. Parking place thieves are the worst.These are the people whom steal the little old ladies spot at JC Penny’s. The ones that wheel their tiny Prius into the parking space before you can even turn your wheel.
11. OH GOD. The Crooked parker. I’m not referring to the crook that lives in your town named Mr. Parker. I’m referring to the woman driving the 1998 Plymouth Voyager van that is parked in a 25 degree angle in a 90 degree parking space. Her crooked parking causes the rest of the parking lot to be thrown off and most of the time makes the person parking closest to me pull in so close that I can’t even get into my car.

Okay….I’m going to go ahead and finish this blog because I’m beginning to feel my anxiety level rising and might need a refill on my Xanax. (Just kidding about that by the way.)

If you of any that I missed, let me know. What driving pet peeves annoy you?

Let me know!

Love, peace, and chicken grease;

-Chris

*If any of you guys have a suggestion for a future Manic Monday, let me know. If I use your idea, I’ll give you a shout out.